This week on «Wait, So is this a Date?» we’re joined by Autostraddle CEO and
L Keyword
specialist
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. That’s right! This episode is focused on lesbian interconnectivity â setting up with pals’ exes, buddies starting up with your exes, together with society developed by what crisis.
Arrive your gossip, stay for any emotional handling. And before that enjoy a casino game that exams Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually wouldn’t.)
Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback after the premiere! When you yourself haven’t but consider giving us a rating or examine!
PROGRAM NOTES
+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of my personal interests.
+ Here Is
the essay
We reference in which We mention hooking up with my roommates.
+ My crush on the few days Mj Rodriguez revealed a music video on her tune
«Something to Say»
!
+ As somebody who has only viewed some periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush in the week C.C. Babcock was stunning to me whenever it turned out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically still are.)
Drew:
I would personally be really good with-it current. I’d never include another person without their particular permission. Nevertheless thought of anytime somebody was like, «concur that you may be linked to me personally,» I would wind up as, «Yeah, oahu is the existence I’ve lived. I do not mind.» Is that weird? Would be that an issue?
Christina:
No, as if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel bad not. I’d be like, «Wait, I am not sleeping?»
Theme song plays
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And introducing
Wait, Is It A Romantic Date?
Christina:
Wait, So Is This A Date?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the top questions. First, will it be a romantic date? Just what are times? That are times? Will we like times? They are type concerns that people answer about this right here very specialist and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I’m called Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I’m Christina Tucker. I’m in addition an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer online. I am improving at explaining myself personally as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is united states. That’s who we have been.
Drew:
Yeah. And therefore the primary subject recently may be the Chart.
Christina:
I simply thought it required a sting. I am not sure. That thought actually dramatic, but In my opinion it needed it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, please. Thank you, thank you. No, no, no. The most suitable amount of crisis.
Christina:
Thanks.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re dealing with lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I love that phrase given that it feels like you will need to restart the lesbians. It sounds like the internet connection is not operating.
Drew:
Yes. It’s very higher level, extremely futuristic, but has existed since there has been lesbians, I think.
Christina:
Yeah. I think scholars will say after they found the first lesbian fossils, they found an information alongside of these created into the sand. And that I believe’s exactly what that flick is approximately, correct? It’s about the chart? That movie with Kate Winslet plus the mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it’s about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
was about cave females. I would enjoy that lesbian flick.
Christina:
Well, when I haven’t seen it, I’m going to fearlessly point out that it actually was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like we have countless lesbian duration parts, but we’ve never eliminated straight back that far. And I also think it’s time we perform.
Christina:
Let’s simply hold getting it furthermore back in time.
Drew:
Before we become to the major subject, you are nonetheless getting to know you. And that I thought that it could be fun to relax and play a game title the place you men could truly become familiar with Christina. Very our very own icebreaker because of this few days is just a little game that I name «Would U-Haul.»
Christina:
I will be, once again, so pressured about that. This could you need to be the way i-come in to the online game. This could be my online game mindset, just a little high key, a little stressed. Which is okay. We’re all discovering.
Drew:
I think that’s great. I think that can have you more susceptible, possibly.
Christina:
Among my favorite feelings.
Drew:
Merely a terror, only a severe terror. So that the way that «Would U-Haul» works is i’ll explain a scenario. Why don’t we call-it Christina follower fiction. And I’m gonna pause after every small section as like, «Okay, Christina, I know that you have never lived with somebody, do not want to accept somebody. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?»
Christina:
And that I will possibly say yes or we’ll state, «I’m ready.»
Drew:
If you do not â really, we are going to see right here. But I’m excited. I do believe i have possibly cracked the rule.
Christina:
You damaged the code? I’m thrilled.
Drew:
Let us observe long this requires. While you never would, I think you victory? I’m not sure just how you can find winners right here.
Christina:
I don’t know that there are winners during the online game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I don’t know should you’ll agree with that next. So I’m getting going.
Christina:
Reasonable sufficient.
Drew:
Okay. Very, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at the friend’s wedding. Regardless of the great number of romcoms you have taken in, you probably did maybe not visit this wedding ceremony considering you’ll satisfy anybody because, well, this is not a romcom. This is actually the real and normal lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your own designated seat and are generally glancing at your cellphone once you understand a woman at your dining table is looking at you. She introduces herself since your friend’s previous baby sitter. She’s stayed a buddy with the family members, but she doesn’t truly know any individual there. She looks like mid-forties and it has a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She offers to enable you to get a glass or two. And when she rises, you understand she is six foot tall, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. And that means you know very well what? I am just probably hold on there and become like, at this time, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m intrigued. I am captivated because i may get laid during this wedding ceremony. But up to now I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That is entirely reasonable. Entirely fair. Okay. Which means you spend the entire marriage observing one another. There is simply an immediate spark and immediate biochemistry. And yes, you will do get together while the sex is incredible.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And thus this wedding was in Northern California. And that means you both extend the stays for a few times to screw and check out and consume at restaurants and shag. And you offer to separate the expense of the now shared place, but she laughs you down and is similar, «certainly not, honey.» So the then three days tend to be secret. You’re feeling your wall space tumbling all the way down. You are dropping quicker than you previously have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
So only for clearness’s benefit, i am having trouble picturing a world by which I got three shock days away from strive to hang out with people i actually do not know. That looks bonkers. But if used to do, good for me personally. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this point. It will be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That is great. You just met. I get it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thanks a lot a whole lot.
Drew:
So she returns to New York therefore go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That’s where We reside.
Drew:
And you’re texting on a regular basis. That is where you reside which is in which this woman lives. And you’re texting on a regular basis and also you see both many times 30 days. She is really busy together with her job, but she’s quick purchasing you a train solution in order to appear see the lady and remain at the woman beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. Immediately after which six months go. Plus one evening when you are out to dinner, she asks that move around in together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And go on to New York? Really don’t really love ny. No, I’m not transferring at the half a year level. I am not undertaking that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, entirely. Wow. Okay. So you hold dating long-distance. She understands that you need some time this woman is prepared to wait a little for you. A few more several months pass. It is today already been over a year. The property owner lets you know that they’re attempting to sell your place to a developer who is investing in apartments, you can not restore it. You will need to get a hold of a new spot. Your today sweetheart lets you know that no pressure, but her provide however stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this point, I would U-Haul for 2 reasons.
Drew:
Yay! Okay. Please tell us.
Christina:
Mostly, in a world for which my personal landlord sold my house to produce it, my personal property manager is currently my personal closest friend, to ensure that appears like one thing went incorrect within relationship. And I might choose to simply keep Philadelphia in any event. Of course, if I have to go in with my gf over here, that appears okay. Which is okay. Totally good. But yeah, I think i would need an external energy like a mean property owner.
Drew:
That is very â ok. I did believe that might need to require housing attain indeed there, so I’m happy We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. Which is just what has to affect me personally initially.
Drew:
Really, I’m glad to understand what it does take. So in theory, if perhaps you weren’t knocked away, simply how much more time?
Christina:
Truthfully, that may went on for quite some time. Philly and ny aren’t also that not each other. I acquired space over here. We’re bouncing back and forth. We’re having fun. I possibly could have leave that roll for a long time until I guess Shoshana can become the worst individual i understand.
Drew:
I did not realize that Shoshana possessed your house. Really, there you go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, that was thrilling.
Drew:
Well, many thanks for playing.
Christina:
I’m pressured, as clear.
Drew:
And I’m glad that i understand⦠possibly if you are ever, so if anybody’s ever online dating both you and wishes that relocate, maybe your own girl told Shoshana to market your house with regard to your connection.
Christina:
Honestly the fastest way â some body would only have to talk to Shoshana and stay like, «only kick their on.» Immediately after which she’d resemble, «Yeah, yes. Definitely.» That would be how it took place, in the event she don’t offer the house. Somebody would you should be like, «are you able to just kick their away thus she’ll only conquer it and move in beside me?» And she’d say yes. A hundred percent she’d do that. That is what relationship is.
Drew:
I adore that.
Christina:
Yeah, that is actually beautiful.
Drew:
Really, I feel like we learned plenty about you.
Christina:
Many Thanks. Personally I think like We learned a great deal about my self, as well. Risk of homelessness is really the matter that keeps myself moving in any situation, i suppose. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that’s fantastic.
Christina:
Which was actually thrilling. I’m similarly delighted to move into our primary phase because i believe writing on lesbian connectivity because of this guest, with this particular unique visitor, i believe it will be remarkable, Drew. Just how are you feeling?
Drew:
I am very excited. This can be an expert. And by that, I mean an
L Keyword
specialist, but additionally a little bit of a specialized in the topic accessible.
Christina:
In my opinion a couple of things is generally real, my pal. I think a couple of things can be real certainly. Can we desire to introduce the guest or will we want our guest to introduce by themselves?
Drew:
I’d love our very own visitor introducing by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I am going to say that the visitor could be the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, speak.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. Plus its odd to-be the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, it really is.
Riese:
I experienced never to state such a thing. I did not also do so. Used to do say things. I experienced to sit down right here quietly.
Christina:
And also you had been really courageous. And your confronts had been appreciated.
Riese:
Thank you such.
Christina:
Though this is exactly obviously an audio method, I want all of our listeners to know that Riese was producing some very nice effect confronts during «Would U-Haul.»
Riese:
There’s various ways as heard. You-know-what after all? That’s what I always say. Im the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m additionally on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is me personally. You will find your pet dog known as Carol. And that I have actually outdated people.
Christina:
Congrats on the kickball!
Riese:
Thank you. I have been associated with folks.
Christina:
Great. Loving that. That’s great to carry to the, this right here matchmaking podcast. That’s great.
Riese:
Yeah. I think that⦠Could There Be other things?
Drew:
No, I think that’s fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Anything you would you like to share.
Riese:
I enjoy raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.
Christina:
Compared toâ¦
Riese:
You know an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It is like as soon as you strike. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, and so I merely exhausted them from my personal head.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, I straight away looked at you with this subject.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because to start with, obviously, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian neighborhood have been like, I don’t know, having sexual intercourse with folks whom their friends have obtained intercourse with since well before
The L Word
was actually previously a string. But i actually do feel
The L Keyword
solidified a particular social thought of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided you’d have a lot of understanding of this topic.
Riese:
It’s real. A couple of experts, I want to state, of
The L Word
had this genuine data ones and their buddies they were attracting regarding wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, ended up being one among them. She spoke to united states regarding it, that they had created this. Because clearly, everyone in that journalist’s room had banged other folks into the journalist â you understand, and lengthy web of that generation of lesbians in L. A.. And they also saw that and these people were like, «Let’s place it in the tv series.» Many of those are on the data. Like, some people whom ⦠like, genuine people are regarding information as a joke.
Christina:
That’s amazing. That’s how you learn you have made it.
Riese:
Isn’t that sexy?
Christina:
That would be exciting in my situation.
Riese:
And thus when you yourself haven’t observed
The L Keyword,
to begin with, congrats. Second of all, it gets the centerpiece of one of one’s lead figure, Alice’s, apartment. She has every thing over her wall surface. Looked after could be the name of a website which they started called ourchart.com that flopped. And also the idea ⦠and it is in pilot, i do believe. Within the very first occurrence, Alice begins speaing frankly about exactly how everybody’s connected, because everyone’s hooked up because of this person. And I can connect you, like you’re probably at the most two degrees from me. Which had been genuine. Like, despite Dana, that has very restricted experience because she had been a closeted playing tennis user, they still managed to hook up this lady. And that is actual life because it’s real.
Christina:
That is society. Yeah. That is what tradition appears to be.
Riese:
That is society. That’s queer society there. Nowadays everybody makes their very own charts.
Christina:
Yeah. So was going to be my next question, was actually have either of you made a chart? Because I do not believe i’ve, and I am method of today considering like, the thing that was this just last year sitting within my home for if I failed to generate a chart? Like, that was the purpose of that, truly?
Riese:
I think I done it inside my journal, equally like ⦠Because i love, I am not sure, planning details, I guess, as a thought workout.
Christina:
Yeah, I think that’s in addition precisely why Im surprised that You will findn’t done it. I like the notion of categorizing situations.
Riese:
Appropriate. Yeah. Because it is interesting. I don’t know precisely why it’s very fascinating, but it’s. Its interesting is want, wow, each one of these folks, they can be linked. It’s untamed.
Drew:
On tv show, once ourchart.com is created, they’ve got a genuine information that folks will add things. And that I feel like something that you joked when it comes to on
To L and Straight Back,
and then people state everyday is similar to, if this existed in a real way, nobody would place their unique names on it, no-one would feel comfortable putting their own labels upon it.
Riese:
Might.
Drew:
I would. I would be very okay along with it current. I’d never ever include some other person without their unique authorization. Nevertheless the concept of like, whenever someone was like, «make sure you are connected with me personally,» I’d resemble, «Yeah, this is the existence i have lived. I don’t mind.» Is unusual? Would be that problems?
Christina:
No, because if I wasn’t, I would personally feel bad not-being ⦠I would be like, «hold off, I’m not onto it? Like, i’m very sorry, what?» No, that would actually send me personally into a light ethical anxiety about just who Im as individuals, what I’m carrying out. Am we interesting? Do folks {like
More helpful hints: /married-senior-gay-dating/